If a donor requests "not to be added to a database," should we process this request as asking not to receive mail/email? While I think a donor has a right to modify their communication preferences, I don’t think they have a right to ask a charity not to keep accurate records. I think we do need to enter their contribution in our database. If a donor has made this request but has made a contribution of $250 or more, are we still obligated to send them formal acknowledgement? Lastly, may this donor make a "no mail" request for a group of other donors in their informal giving circle?
As a person who works with words every day and tries to be sure they say what I mean and mean what I say, I appreciate your attempt to figure out what this donor wants. But I think you should ask the donor what they mean. They can’t really mean that you shouldn’t keep a record of their donation. Your auditors would be quite upset at not being able to account for an unallocated gift.
You also can’t delete this donor entirely from your donor database or mailing list. They are, after all, a donor to the organization. Even under the Donor Bill of Rights developed by the major fundraising organizations (which is not legally binding on anyone), they are entitled only to have their name deleted from lists you share with others.
There is no such thing as a national Do Not Mail list, and the national Do Not Call list exempts charities from the requirements (although not their professional solicitors).
Is this donor asking you to keep their gift confidential and not give them recognition in your public reporting?
If you ask them if you should put them on a no mail/email list, you should be aware that you are not legally required to provide a contemporaneous written acknowledgement of a gift, even for gifts of $250 or more unless it is a quid pro quo gift for which you give goods or services in return. It is the donor’s obligation to get a receipt to justify their claim for deduction, not your obligation to give it. (See Ready Reference Page: “IRS Requires Substantiation of Contributions”) Depending on how snotty you want to be in your inquiry, you could tell them you assume that the do-not-mail directive would not cover the acknowledgement that they must have to claim a charitable contribution deduction, or you could ask them whether they want to eliminate the acknowledgment that they are required to have to claim the deduction.
I would not accept the request from this donor as a request from the others in the giving circle, even if you can get them to tell you what they mean. You can tell this donor that most donors appreciate receiving your newsletter to see how their contributions are making a difference and appreciate receiving invitations for special events to keep them more connected with the organization. The other donors are able to speak for themselves and may have no desire to be as isolated and uninformed as this one.
As a fundraiser, you will undoubtedly phrase your inquiry more felicitously than I would. But I have no idea what this donor is actually requesting and wouldn’t recommend you do anything until you understand what they mean.
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